Relationships .

People say and I surely disagree , that to have a happy marriage and content life , one must have a eye candy sexy ass woman by your side , and money .

I have witnessed in my life , that men and women alike , are more superficial than I could have ever imagined  . Beautiful people get ugly , Skinny people get fat , Rich people get poor , Honest  people  lie , and truth becomes non existent . It blows my mind , that when people wed and exchange vows , the part through thick and thin , sickness and in health , for richer or poorer  are but words muttered at the time . Thick and thin means to me anyway  , if you disagree with your significant other , you work things out . You remember what the difference was but you don’t hold onto it . Get on with life . When your spouse takes sick , you stand by them , not desert them . When you or your spouse goes broke , you don’t abandon them for someone with wealth . I have seen it more times than I can count .                                                                                                                                   As I have grown and matured , I myself have learned many bittersweet lessons . I was a hardcore full time drunk when I wasn’t working . I used to be violent . I used to be self centered . I used to be my way or the highway .                                                                             I married the first time  at age 19 , it was doomed from the start . After many violent episodes , she smartened up and left me . Divorce # 1.                                                         Marriage  #2 was on the rebound . After 5 years we married . Didn’t last long after the wedding . Many unseen forces were at work  at the time in my life . Still a worker , a drunk , and pretty violent , we separated and divorced .                                                             The next relationship , was an eye opening experience to say the least . I still worked . I still drank , but my violent episodes were becoming  less and less frequent . I had found LOVE . I was blessed with a beautiful daughter . After 9 months of being with my child , once again , I was to face the cold hard facts of life . I was put to the curb ,  my reality of love and happiness was shattered beyond repair .                                                                       Never again , would I even consider loving another woman . My heart  was cold as ice , hard as granite , and I was never going to be hurt again . Not by my own hands or the empty promises of another woman .                                                                                                 After some months had passed in 1985 , and damn near losing what sanity I had left , I met a woman . It was a chance meeting . She wasn’t a super model , she wasn’t a wealthy cougar . She was a woman who had seen tough times in her life as well . She 3 had children . She drank , she worked , and she struggled with life . Her life was a chaotic as mine so it seemed . Anyway we hung out for a while . She needed a man who would look out for her and her kids , and I needed a woman to look out for me . I moved in with her and after a spell , I moved her to our own place . It was tough going for a long time , but we struggled through and beat the futility . Well we have been through many trials  but ya know what ? She got fat , I got ugly and we both are broke . Well we are still together.  She and I are friends , lovers , husband and wife . We still live together , we support each other and we still defend each other . We may not have that happy romantic joyous life we both wanted or hoped for , but we see each other thru , come what may ……. To me for any relationship to survive , there must be guide lines . Never restrict the other from being themselves .Never expect more than common sense will allow . Never tell the other how to live by your rules . Disagree if you have to , but don’t hang on to it. My mind is already  crowded with other shit  to allow any more piddly shit in . So there ya go . My formula for a lasting relationship in a nut shell .