Getting Old / Medical Bills/Dead

Worked hard all my life ,  mostly the construction trade and driving . At 19 , I was a pretty rugged fuck . I could carry a bundle of shingles on each shoulder up a 40 ‘ ladder . I could paint houses , vinyl siding , roof all day long . I could install heating /air conditioning , could plumb a whole house alone . As I got older  I went to cross country flatbed truck driving . Finally as my old ass was showing signs of  wear and tear , my knees went out , my lungs started fucking up , and lucky me got degenerative arthritis . I’m not one to complain ,  suck it up buttercup and move on . Just recently I had my left lung collapse  . What a pain in the ass that was . Spent 2 days in the hospital with a tube stuck in my lung . $15,000.00  bill . 2  ambulances rides at $800.00 per . Medicare covered 10% but left me , on Disability  , a $1500.00 bill and $400.00 in ambulance fees . Well fuck me sideways . I’m a vet  but it’s 41 miles 1 way to the V A . Right after getting home don’t my sciatic nerve in my right leg go stupid . Pain I have never felt , thought the lung was bad  but holy shit skippy not even close . so after a month with  wild lettuce juice it finally calmed down . Now  I was warned the lung may do it again and I am pretty sure it has . Can I afford to go back to the vet ? Fuck NO ! What can I do ? Only hope that it re-inflates and I get some semblance of normalcy . If not , suffer city till the end , I reckon.Someone told me a long time ago , that when the end is near , I will be afraid to die . Well that isn’t me . I was born to die just as everyone of you all have .After watching this world go absolutely bug fuck  , cost of food , housing , medical , and burial . Might just be another door on the other side . If not  at least peace and quiet . $10,000.00 to bury a body  ? Fuck that , put my ass through a wood chipper and feed the fish .People forget you soon enough after you are dead anyway . People who will put on the show don’t call , write or visit  so I say fuck you one and all …..live till you die .